Thursday, January 15, 2015

I'm Mooshy-Squooshy...and Loved

from Maybe What I Really Need is to be Loved,  Your Beloved

This blog post by Bonnie Gray, sent to my email inbox via (in)Courage, helped me relax enough to get back to sleep at 3 AM early yesterday morning. I had been lying awake, gnashing my teeth about a lot of things... Mostly aggravated that the issues were probably 'my fault' at the root... 

  • I'm wimpy.
  • I'm too soft and sentimental.
  • As a pleaser, I don't say "no" enough, or pull hard enough when the kids need to be reined in.
  • I let things and finances and the household tasks get out of control, and sometimes I let others reinforce the idea that it's my fault.

I call good decisions "theirs," and not-necessarily-good decisions "bad momming."

Maybe I'm not all the things I was telling myself, or actually, maybe I am, but that's the way God made me.  I am mooshy and squooshy, for good or (for what you think may be) bad. If I'm not tough enough, it just might be someone else's job to offer the kids that point of view, or there is something we're all supposed to learn or gain as things unfold. Mostly, the kids are doing pretty awesome, and I am here to allow them to be and develop into their own selves, too. 

I (don't often enough) realize that there are just some things maybe I shouldn't control (WHAT?!!), or take responsibility for.

--These rambling thoughts may give insight on why I don't get back to sleep once my mind starts to spin-- 

ANYway, I searched out the blog post again today to re-read and re-remind myself, and thought maybe someone else could use the message...
Now please give yourself a break and rest in that, and I'll try to give it a shot, too.

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