MCFH: On my Table

My Cozy Fall Home, Day 3:  On my Table

I promised to be honest...

We are in a transition phase in our family and home life.  We are still years from being empty nesters, but are working our way there.  A home that started its life bustling with 10 active people, now has only 4 most of the time, and one of those has her foot on the threshold, pointed outward.

This is a picture of our current home transition.  We moved into this house with 4 bedrooms-full of princes and princesses.  2 of the rooms had 3 inhabitants each, and have collected leavings of all who lived there.  One of those rooms is now empty.  Well, empty of bodies, but not empty of stuff!  This is the evidence that I'm working on that.

Belongings from the boys' room, mixed with this year's homeschooling activity,
and Princess Eager's photo editing station (the computer).
What about dining, you may ask?  Anywhere else!

Going through 3 princes' belongings, has unearthed many books and games that have made it only as far as the dining room table, now mixed with the current year's re-shuffle of homeschooling materials.  All homeschooling materials will move to shelves in my current sewing area when I've developed a new sewing room elsewhere. (With a door.  That closes!)  The destination of my own 'studio' is yet to be finalized, so the piles await.  

They can't move until the sewing room is empty... The sewing room can't empty until the new spot is decided and properly prepared.  So this is my fall table decor!  We'll just chalk it up to another of the 'beautiful messes' that indicate we have had, and continue to have, a rich family life.

Sick or Treat

OK...These aren't really illnesses we struggled with and addressed in the past months, but Learning Issues or Treat, or Joint Pain or Treat didn't sound as catchy, especially for this time of year!

Throughout his young years, Prince Go-for-It often had issues seeing things through to completion, or sitting and concentrating on bookwork.  I would have bet that if he'd been in public school, he'd have been given the ADD label years ago.  







The advantage of homeschooling, though, is that I could adapt his education to his own learning style.  He caught snakes and frogs and studied them.  He fished...then filleted and smoked the fish.  He tied flies for different locations and purposes.  He built Lego communities with his siblings.  

He played outside, building and socializing with neighbors.  He was up for anything, and never met a person he didn't like.  He could talk to young and old alike.  It was awesome, and I saw no reason to interfere with his God-given bent.  




Another homeschooling mom I met years ago referred to her boys with ADHD/hyperactive tendencies as being "Tiggers." She enjoyed and celebrated their activity, and employed active and hands-on learning in their homeschooling lives.

I believe it's only when we ask of them what doesn't fit, that brains with Attention Deficit Disorder really run into trouble and need outside help.  It's been in the past few years, when Prince Go-for-It felt the need to integrate into full-time schooling at the local junior and senior high schools, that he felt he was unable to keep up some kind of assistance.  He felt badly about himself, and was hard on himself about his struggles.  Last spring he requested that we have him evaluated for ADD, and consider medication.  The thought of medication that affects the way his brain works really scared me, but I promised to keep an open mind and see what the prince's doctor had to say.


We were given a packet at the pediatrician's office, full of questionnaires for the prince, us, as the parents, and for a few of his teachers.  I chose a junior high teacher who thought the prince was an amazing kid...A person who had taken the time to get to know him, saw his potential, and loved who he was.  I also chose a couple of current teachers who had commented to us that although the prince was really trying hard, and a delight to have in class, they could see his grades, especially test grades, didn't reflect his effort. -- Also, that he had trouble in class with attention, and seeing things through to completion.  

At home we could tell who had been in the kitchen when drawers were left open, clutter or mess was on 2 or 3 different counter areas, a snack sat half-completed on the counter, and maybe even the refrigerator door stood open.  He would start a chore, get distracted, and walk away, leaving it at about 70%, but, asked about it later, was sure he'd finished.

The doctor admitted that Go-for-It was a bit of a mixed bag when it came to symptoms.  All of his teachers listed his behavior as excellent, and said that he was a good example in his classrooms, which is not typical of the form responses the doctor sees for ADD kids.  The prince also had As and Bs mixed in with lower grades, which is also not typical.  

He's social, shows some leadership skills,  and maintains good friendships.  When it came to sports, his dedication and attention seemed complete.  From reports of behavior at home and at school, though, he could see a clear indication of attention and focus problems, so recommended trying a medication, in increasing doses over a few weeks, to see if it might help.

In the 2nd or 3rd week, the prince mentioned trouble falling asleep, but no problem staying asleep.  He mentions that sometimes his medicine makes him feel quickly angry over things, but it doesn't show to the rest of us, so I wouldn't say there's been a turn in his moods or personality.  Those have been the worst of the side effects.  

The good side effects are increased focus and understanding of what he's doing and reading at school, and his happiness about that.  He gets upset when his grades fall below an A, because they are all hovering right up there and he's trying so hard to keep them up.  We try to convince him to not be so worried about the actual grades, because he tends to check them like a person who wants to lose weight checks the scale twice a day.  He still has test anxiety, but his better successes in taking them, I hope, might start to remedy that.  He's doing great at work, and is valued as a dependable, hard worker with an eye for details.

Go-for-It has recently made a schedule, thanks to a classroom assignment, of his short-term and long-term tasks he needs to accomplish in order to reach his goal of completing a college degree in business.  This has shown him that he has too much on his plate these days, and that baseball, which takes so much of his time as a year-around, select sport, has to go.  It was a tough decision, but a mature one, I thought.  Running suits his schedule and his personality better... It serves as an aid to relaxation and thought, instead of adding more stress, like trying to perfect baseball techniques did.  He hopes to run at college, too.  

We're proud of the progress he's been making, and so happy he's feeling much better about himself and the hopes for his future.

Well, this post is long enough, so I'll leave Part 2, which has to do with a struggle I've had, until tomorrow.

Recently, I saw a good article explaining the struggles a person with ADD faces, written so that others might better understand:  20 Things to Remember if You Love a Person with ADD

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Taking Flight 2014, 2.0

I don't think it's fair when they leave two at a time!


Princess Artiste graduated from high school in June, and after being pursued because of her grades and athletic records, she is our first to leapfrog over community college and right into a 4-year school.  With her part-time public school, part-time homeschool education, we had to jump through a couple of extra hoops, but they weren't too bad.  

She was actually accepted into 2 private, Christian colleges, but only one of them had the draw of participating in collegiate sports.  As a runner and swimmer, the school athletic director was having a hard time deciding in which sports to use her.  Her available options were cross country, indoor track, outdoor track and field, swimming, and the new team he wants to start for triathlon.  It's long been her dream to try a triathlon, but that team hasn't been started yet, so at least it was off the list for this year.  

She teaches swimming and does lifeguarding for the YMCA, but doesn't feel in any shape to compete in swimming, so chose cross-country for fall, and in the spring, hopes to run the 400 meter dash and throw javelin in outdoor track.  She may try indoor track, too, since her cross country season was cut a little short by illness at one end and a stress fracture at the other!

First things first...
Ginormous poster goes on the wall!

Yes, her departure was a bit delayed.  She was supposed to move to school 2 weeks before classes started, in order to train with the cross country team.  But 2 days before the move, she was feeling just awful...The 'cold' she'd had was worsening, her throat was killing her, and when she tried to run, her legs felt like lead.  Diagnosis: Mono.  Prince Go-for-It had had it in May, so evidently the germs were around the house, and he shared.  It can take 2 months to incubate after exposure!


She went up to school, then, on the regular appointed day.  It was sad she'd missed the training and bonding time with her team, but that meant we got her at home for a bit of additional time.  Moving day was sunny and bright, and a great day to start her new adventure... and she was bonding with teammates, already, when we left.  The next day she attended a church she's loved ever since.


She is growing and learning.  She competed in a few meets, but missed going to the national meet, because of her broken foot.  She'll get the 'boot' off of that in a week, and will jump into preseason practice for track, and hope that season goes much better!  She also has 2 jobs... swim instructor/lifeguard at the YMCA, as mentioned, and, added just this week, an afternoon job in the school library.


She still wonders if she's chosen the right school.  This one is small...Only 250 students, which is about 1/10 the size of her high school.  She enjoys the small classes, and the interest and passion passed on by her professors.  But she had to choose a different major than she'd intended, because this school only offers 15 degree programs.  She may transfer to the Big City next year or the year after, and join her brother, Inventive, but not in the same classes.  She still is deciding between a career in nutrition or a career in interior design.


The princess has accomplished another big thing, unintentionally and indirectly.  The path to college by attending community college first, because of the lack of a public school diploma, was an easy and successful route for her older siblings.  In jumping to a 4-year school, and participating in sports as well, she has broadened the horizons for her younger siblings.  Already, Prince Go-for-It is planning to run cross country, starting at a 4-year school, and he has 2 with which he plans to open a dialogue.  He, a natural born salesman, also plans to major in Business to study marketing, but with different career goals in mind than his brother.

We now have a household of 5...plus the 3 over the garage.  It's odd to have so few!  Because the younger kids seemed to draw around the older kids, they are now somewhat at loose ends, and still missing their buddies.  Thank goodness for texting and cell phones.  How much they rely on each other, even when not in the same house, is more evident (and heartwarming) than ever.  We have new dynamics to grow accustomed to, and new bonds to build within the house.  A whole new adventure for everyone.

Write31days.com

Wanna-Be... A lot of things!

I might consider this sort of my daily "Bucket List" - Please forgive me repeating ones you've heard before:


I want to sew... quilts, baby clothes, clothes for myself, clothes and projects for others.

I want to crochet --I should say learn to crochet--and then make fantastic afghans for my children grandchildren to cuddle in, like my grandmas did.

I want to bake and keep the bread drawer, granola container, and cookie jar full.

I want to learn to make, then keep us supplied with, tortillas.

I want to cook full and delicious dinners, and serve family dinner at the table.

I want to do cook-ahead, freezer meals for busy days.

I want to get up early and make sure my family has nutritious breakfasts in the morning, and for those who leave, take nutritious lunches with them.

I want to read the Bible and related studies.

I want to read books about quilting, cooking, baking, sewing, art, and architecture.

I want to read entertaining books.

I want to learn to play the cello...like Yoyo Ma... in about a month.  haha

I want to be very fit and healthy.  Maybe even sculpted.  Definitely want to be sculpted.  I suppose this means actually moving...  (But Katie at Domestiphobia says, "It's the thought that counts!")

I want to ride my bike and be able to manage changes in terrain without so much effort.  I don't think thought alone will accomplish that one.

I want to be fully involved in homeschooling my children... Finding fun ways to learn and great projects to work on... Instilling a love for learning, and a love for doing things like math, writing, sewing, baking, building...  Going on adventurous, interesting, and fun field trips.

I want to garden.  I want my yard to look neat and beautiful, but mostly, I want to grow (and preserve) good, fresh food for our family.

I want to have people over for dinner, and the house (and 'larder') be ready for guests at all times.

I want to keep my home de-cluttered, dust-free, and comfortably beautiful and warm.

I want to keep better organized files and records of financial papers and other household business.

I want to integrate Bible verses into our home, following the admonition in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 "...These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

I want to help make or save our family a significant amount of money to improve our monthly finances.

I want to share our projects and a bit of our lives on this blog... Not only sharing ourselves and preserving memories for family and friends, but hopefully, feeding others in some positive way.

I want to start a kitchen design page on the blog for those who yearn for a functional and family-friendly layout, and may not be finding the help they need elsewhere or are having trouble organizing their wishes into a plan.

I want to feel more willing to reach out and get involved in church projects and programs.

I want to be the greatest wife my husband could ever dream of....Supportive, accomplished, cheerful, attractive, helpful, respectful, loving, builder-upper.

I want to spend more 'couple time' with Hubby.

I want to be the greatest, most helpful, encouraging, supportive, loving, and beloved mom to my children... and also confidante and friend as they grown and become adults.

I want to really know each of my children as individuals, and have a close relationship with each, encouraging and supporting their dreams and ambitions, as God leads.

I want to be able to sit and enjoy a movie or favorite TV show with my family.

Downloadable images suitable for making reminder wall hangings
from Live the Way you Want to be Remembered by Kristen Duke,
in which, among other good things worth reading, she says:
"...I want to live in such a way that they will remember our time fondly. I don’t want them to remember me always on the computer, but spending time with them or reading to them or taking them on adventures."
Yes!

I want to be the best grandma to my soon-to-arrive grandson and other future grandchildren... I want to be the kind of grandma who bakes, sews, reads, cuddles, and is cheerful, loving, and fun.

I want to meet with close friends.

I want to spend time with my parents.

I want to connect with the Lord all day every day, trusting and living in faith instead of fatigue and fear.  --Sitting in confidence of my salvation, walking in the path He has for me, and standing with Him in the face of whatever my days bring.  

I want the spirit of faith, thankfulness, praise, love, service, and family to be contagious in our house, and, with the Lord's help, I want to be a main 'carrier.'

And.... I since I want to feel energetic enough to get out of my chair and do these things... I want more sleep!

Why Don't I Get More Accomplished?

Where time (and gas money) goes... An example of one of my days this week (Wednesday).

 5:45 - 6:40   Sleepily arise, with 55 minutes to make breakfast and lunch for Hubby and, also, Prince Inventive, who is just getting used to early hours for college, and for whom preparing his own breakfast doesn't sound too appealing at the moment.

 6:40 - 7:15   Run Hubby to work.

 7:15 - 8:40  Home for 85 minutes to clean the kitchen, then rally Prince Go-for-It, make his lunch, and discuss schooling matters that probably involve cutting some of his junior high classes and welcoming him back to the homeschooling fold. 

 8:40 - 8:50  Take Prince Go-for-It to school.

 8:50 - 9:45  55 minutes to email the school and search out homeschooling materials suitable for remedial work and meeting 9th grade high school requirements.

 9:45 - 10:00  Take Princess Eager to church for her child care job.

 10:00 - 10:30  Go to chiropractor, only to find ours is out of the office today.

 10:30 - 11:10  40 minutes at home for more computer research and to help Prince CuddleBunny bring in the large cans from the street, in order to do some trash and other chores. 

 11:10 - 11:35  Pick up Princess Eager from church.

 11:35 - 1:00  Settled at home for 85 minutes to make and eat lunch, work with Prince CuddleBunny, answer emails, research running shoes to try to find answers to Prince Go-for-It's new knee pain and his recent propensity to wear out shoes within weeks.  Too much computer time today.

 1:00 - 2:30  Accompany Princess Artiste to (5th) concussion check at the pediatrician's office... She finally has the OK to return to school. -- Half days this week, and back to full time next.

 2:30 - 2:40  10 minutes to drop Princess Artiste off at home, use the restroom, and grab a snack... and Princess Eager.

 2:40 - 3:15  Princess Eager  goes to the junior high for volleyball practice.  Trade her for Prince Go-for-It who goes from the junior high and to the high school for Cross-Country practice.

 3:15 - 3:55  40 minutes to ready an oven chicken dish and black rice with veggies so that Princess Artiste can put them in the oven, and start them on the stove, respectively, while I am out.

 3:55 - 5:35  Prince CuddleBunny participates in a mile and a half run, also at the high school... 

Waiting at the start line

It is really meant for 7th and 8th graders, but the Cross Country team is hosting, so Hubby and Prince Go-for-It invited him to compete.  He took a wrong turn and had to double back, adding about a half mile to his run, but he still finished in the middle of the pack of kids 6 yrs older than he.

 5:35 - 5:50  Drive the runners and their coach (Hubby) home.

 5:50 - 6:00  10 minutes to use the restroom, check on dinner, and leave serving instructions.

 6:00 - 8:00   Leave most of the family to eat the dinner while Prince Go-for-It and I trek to a nearby town's running store for shoe advice.  We found a font of information in "Miguel" at Route 16, who was generous with his knowledge of feet and gait, shoe construction, and training methods for running.  After being talked out of the 'minimal shoes' he thought he wanted, that will cause more problems and wear out quickly, 
we found a pair of shoes Prince Go-for-It can love.  They should stop the injury process he'd recently entered, hopefully in time for his twilight race on Saturday.

 8:00 - 8:30  Stop at Costco for sustenance and a few needs, then on to Big 5 for urgent necessities requested by Princess Eager... Pre-wrap in her school colors, so she could make hair decor for Thursday's 'away' volleyball match.  ;-)

 9:00 - 11:00  Home to stay.  120 minutes to help 3 kids with varying homework assignments, make sure enough laundry got done so Hubby has boxers for the next day (which he didn't find, as they ended up in a pile in the girls' room), keep an eye on "X Factor"  ;-), make sure everyone got to bed, try to set plans with Hubby for the next day's travels and appointments, and finally get the shower I'd been hoping for all day!

Final Stats: 8 hours 20 minutes at home (divided into 9 sections!), 8 hours 25 minutes out and about ( in 8 separate outings).  

This day was a little bit of an exaggeration of the typical.  We obviously don't have school changes, doctor appointments, and running shoe emergencies daily, but often 1 or 2 things to take their place... There is a lot of busyness here this fall!

Loud Kids

The group of them can certainly be loud, but what I'm talking about today is that we have kids who 'live out loud.'  -With purpose, intention, courage, and with thoughtful opinion... even when others may not want to hear it!

We are often in awe, wondering where this trait came from. Hubby and I feel it can't have been genetic, being relative wimps ourselves.  ;-)

Please bear with me through this, as there is a point... Not just bragging about my kids.  As I said, just explaining our awe as the backstory:

Besides the trip to Boston I mentioned the other day, Princess Bossy has been to New Orleans for work on Habitat for Humanity's post-Katrina projects, went to Haiti to help rebuild after the earthquake, missed her college graduation ceremony to volunteer as a counselor at a camp in Alaska, and traveled to Aruba to nanny over Christmas breaks.  She's done skydiving and ventured to Oklahoma on her own for an internship in college ministry, where she's stayed after meeting and marrying Prince Helium.

She is not one to shrink from a challenge, and has a history of taking on courses and situations that will present a particular challenge for her.   She is a nut for learning and for pursuing (too?) many passions.  Bossy graduated from college, on time, after changing her major 4 times in her junior year.

A beloved leader among her siblings

Our eldest princess is outgoing, and can express her opinion and show disfavor in a somewhat brutal honesty. She doesn't mess with subtlety that might be misunderstood.  But she expresses favor and joy in the same way; with a laugh as loud as her personality and life.

Prince Stoic began life timidly.  He was happy to let Princess Bossy direct their play, and in group situations, like visiting his sister's kindergarten class, he was wrapped around one of my legs.  He was ready for academics before he was ready to face the social challenges of a 40-kid classroom.

He was also one who found no need to try something new... If he hadn't done it before and KNEW that he liked it, he found no reason to take the risk.

We were a little afraid that he'd always be shy and cautious... but he liked baseball.  Just before he was 9, he decided to play Little League.  We made sure he was aware that he'd be with a group of kids and coaches he didn't know.  He was so interested in playing, and although he was a quiet presence, vocally, on his team, his shyness didn't stop him, as he let his playing skills speak for him.

This became a pattern for other decisions and moves in his life... If he had a particular interest, he didn't hesitate to try.  He was a standout in the regional Alliance Church Bible Quizzing program, where he also developed a set of excellent friends, with whom he still enjoys many social and athletic activities.  
(With this group, he lost his 'quiet' reputation and is so at home, he's as lively as the rest.)

He is a dedicated and hard worker, exhibiting patience and high standards in his tasks. He taught himself guitar, and then how to build them.  He excelled in coursework in community college and earned membership in the the Phi Beta Kappa, the academic honor society.  He decided against the student loans needed to finish his 4-year degree, and is pursuing an electrical apprenticeship, with possible plans to finish his electrical engineering degree later.  He's also the junior high youth leader at his church.

Nothing really shy or at all hesitant about the way he lives his life now!

Princess Sassy was born talking.  Sociability was never a problem for her, and she was known by everyone as the little girl who was always smiling.  She wasn't afraid of anyone, and was a particular hit with the easy way she had talking to older folks. Reading and other academic pursuits didn't come as easily for her as her siblings, though, so her confidence took a big hit and the smile faded.  We looked for other ways for her to experience success.

She loved to run races in the back yard, in which she often won.  When she joined the community track club, she was definitely in her element.  She developed expertise and confidence, and was a leader among her peers.  This turned out to be just a step to her real calling... coaching.  She began coaching for the junior high track team when she was just a sophomore.  




Whatever insecurities she may be experiencing in other areas of her life fade  away as soon as she is "Coach."  At track, she exudes confidence, knowledge, and leadership, and holds the respect of her athletes, fellow coaches, and meet administrators. 

She went off to Malibu on a spur-of-
the-moment opportunity with a group
of people she didn't know.  She grew,
and helped others understand the way
she lives her life in faith.

Like Stoic and Bossy, Princess Sassy knows what she believes and why.  And like her older sister, is not afraid to make her opinions known and back them up.   She wears her feelings on her sleeve, because being outspoken doesn't mean she doesn't have deep feelings.  She is a staunch and loyal friend, and has been disappointed by others who aren't the same... Especially by those who didn't understand or support her marriage.  Following God's will in her life is more important, though, and she knows starting her life with Prince Steadfast was the right thing for both of them.

I won't go into such detail with the rest of the kids... But they are exhibiting similar courage in their lives.  

Prince Inventive is a good builder, and also like Stoic, was a quiet, but powerful baseball player.  After playing only a few tennis games with his older brother (both self-taught), he joined the school tennis team and became a strong team leader. He challenged himself by taking Chemistry at the high school, after never having had a formal class in math or science before.  He also excelled and became a leader in wood and metal shop classes, and in drafting. 

A much younger Princess Artiste told us, "I think I'm just not an outdoor person," and she was as quiet as Prince Stoic.  But now she has a wicked wit, and is lively and vocal among her friends and peers.  She's played soccer and is on the record books for running hurdles at the high school (after being taught by Coach Sassy). 
She also taught herself to swim in our yard pool, and joined the high school swim team, contributing in varsity events. She's pushing herself academically this year, taking biology and joining the athletic medicine program, which will also make her a student athletic trainer, like Princess Bossy was, too.

None of our older children are hesitant to question or challenge what others try to tell them... which sometimes isn't welcome by certain adults who think they are above such things.  There is a fine line between respect for authority/elders, and blanketly accepting what others tell them.  I think they do a good job at riding that line, even though their approaches may sometimes be more direct than I'd choose.

Prince Go-for-It is set on challenging himself with academics, even though, like Sassy, he had a slower start.  He has become a good long distance runner through his own discipline and effort.  His social skills make him immediately popular and he's learning discernment in his choices of friends.

Princess Eager is ...well... eager to set an individual path for herself, and after little training will try out for the junior high volleyball team this year.  She has already been a dedicated assistant at Sunday school and a leader for Vacation Bible School.  She's gotten herself a job in child care during a Women's Ministry class at church for the coming year.

 
Prince CuddleBunny is still sticking close to me, but adventuring out with his siblings also.  I know that with these role models and heroes, he'll bloom in much the same way... 
Meaning, in whatever direction the passions God gave him will lead.






Finally... The whole point of this discussion, as promised:  
I was pondering the kids' abilities to jump, head-first, into things that would have me doubting and double-thinking.   I came to the conclusion that it's due, largely, to homeschooling, and Hubby agrees.

Not that it's anything I taught them, or for which I can take credit... But that being home, secure with me and with who they were, gave them the time and opportunities to grow into their confidence.  They weren't busy treading the waters of peer pressure and keeping up, which would've been especially hard for those who were shy or had academic delays.  They avoided age and gender segregation, and possible labels.  Instead, they were able to grow through and past the difficulties in a safe environment, and develop individual strengths.  They were able to discover and investigate their passions and decide which things would be a priority.  They had time to discuss issues, then find information and answers to questions that led to the formation of their personal beliefs.  

I could only hope to be like them when I grow up!

 “If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I will tell you, I came to live out loud.” 

~Émile Zola