I'm Mooshy-Squooshy...and Loved

from Maybe What I Really Need is to be Loved,  Your Beloved

This blog post by Bonnie Gray, sent to my email inbox via (in)Courage, helped me relax enough to get back to sleep at 3 AM early yesterday morning. I had been lying awake, gnashing my teeth about a lot of things... Mostly aggravated that the issues were probably 'my fault' at the root... 

• I'm wimpy.
• I'm too soft and sentimental.
• As a pleaser, I don't say "no" enough, or pull hard enough when the kids need to be reined in.
• I let things and finances and the household tasks get out of control, and sometimes I let others reinforce the idea that it's my fault.

I call good decisions "theirs," and not-necessarily-good decisions "bad momming."

Maybe I'm not all the things I was telling myself, or actually, maybe I am, but that's the way God made me.  I am mooshy and squooshy, for good or (for what you think may be) bad. If I'm not tough enough, it just might be someone else's job to offer the kids that point of view, or there is something we're all supposed to learn or gain as things unfold. Mostly, the kids are doing pretty awesome, and I am here to allow them to be and develop into their own selves, too. 

I (don't often enough) realize that there are just some things maybe I shouldn't control (WHAT?!!), or take responsibility for.

--These rambling thoughts may give insight on why I don't get back to sleep once my mind starts to spin-- 

ANYway, I searched out the blog post again today to re-read and re-remind myself, and thought maybe someone else could use the message...

 GOD LOVES YOU THE WAY HE MADE YOU

Now please give yourself a break and rest in that, and I'll try to give it a shot, too.

My Mom....

My mom taught me that Jesus loves me from the very beginning, and all through my life.

My mom read Wynken, Blynken, & Nod to me, probably a hundred or more times, because I loved it.

My mom held my head when I was sick, and camped out on a fold-out cot next to my bed when needed.

My mom made beautifully decorated cakes, including cool, coconut-covered, "cut-up cakes" for my birthdays. 

My mom sewed me clothes, including awesome flowered, bell-bottom pants and polyester pants suits.  ;-)  Also, prom dresses and, later, quilts for my kids.

My mom shared her skills, teaching me to decorate cakes, bake, cook, sew, and pack pickles.

My mom always called on me to make ‘my specialties’ of biscuits or jam thumbprint cookies, which made me feel accomplished and helpful.

My mom took me to softball practice and watched every one of my games.

My mom gave me a cornet to join band when the director had recommended a clarinet, because it’s what she had to give…Which, consequently, put me into the brass section where I found some of my closest and truest, lifelong friends.

My mom encouraged me to try my best at everything I do.

My mom loved to sing and her beautiful voice sang lullabies, hymns, and mommy-to-child love songs.

My mom used to paint along with the man on TV when I was little.

My mom paid uncountable bills, folded infinite amounts of laundry, and cleaned, washed, cooked, and sewed without complaint.  She used to iron our tablecloths in a big press she set up in the family room, which filled the house with that hot, clean linen smell.

My mom touched so may lives and was beloved by almost everyone she met, including family, neighbors, friends, colleagues, and even the nurses and doctors who tended to her needs.

My mom made the effort.  -She learned names, introduced her family, listened and remembered about the families and interests of others.

My mom hated to ask of others, and always expressed appreciation of their efforts, even if it was their job to help her.

My mom was kind and sweet.  She was full of warmth and hugs.

My mom was strong, intelligent, and thoughtful.

My mom never swore and rarely had a negative word to say about another person.

My mom was the most devoted daughter – caring and attentive to her parents and in-laws, alike.

My mom was the most devoted wife – steadfast, loving, cheerful, and supportive.

My mom was the most devoted mom/grandma/great grandma, who loved and gave to her children, and loved whomever they loved: Friends, sweethearts, then spouses and children… and she treated them all as family.

My mom was a lady, and modeled true beauty from the inside out.  The love and grace of the Lord shined through her.

My mom said her mother was a better person and that I was a better mother.  She was so very wrong.

My mom was sure she’d live to 100.  Sadly, she was wrong about that, too.

My mom went to the Lord when He called her name this past Sunday.

My mom’s leaving left a hole in my heart and in my life, and shoes I could never hope to fill.

My mom left me, though, with a wealth of precious memories, wise teachings, and high standards to which to aspire.

I love you and miss you, Mom….so much. But I will see you again!

Multi-Tasking, Version B

Early last month I wrote a long list of the things I want to accomplish with my days.  I think it seemed,

Wanna-Be... A lot of things!

in list form, more impossible than it really is.  Some things probably need to be crossed off. Some things don't need to be done every day.  And some things can be done concurrently... Using, what I'm calling for the purpose of this blog post, "multi-tasking, version A."

This would be the type of multi-tasking where, for example, I boil eggs, while I prepare a batch of bread, while I also prep chicken for a crock pot dinner and encourage Prince CuddleBunny to work on a sheet of math problems.  In other words, juggling different tasks all at one time.

But what I wanted to share with you today is the other type of multi-tasking that helps me accomplish (parts of) my list... The kind where I accomplish more than one thing on the list, but while doing one task.

My best example of this involve my listed desires to read the Bible more and learn Scripture, as well as sharing Scripture with my family.  

I had also written on that list

I want to get up early and make sure my family has nutritious breakfasts in the morning, and for those who leave, take nutritious lunches with them.

I have been doing that most of this year, but have made improvements.  I had been making Prince Inventive and Prince Go-for-It 2 sandwiches each day to grab on their way out to their respective schools.  

But Prince Go-for-It requested they be in a lunch sack.  He mentioned that he ate one sandwich as a snack, and as we discussed his hunger schedule and food needs, I realized I'd been doing only a partial job.  He clearly needed a fuller lunch with more variety, and just more food, in general. (Today he took 1 ham sandwich with lettuce, 1 almond butter and jam sandwich, 1 apple, crackers and cottage cheese, and 4 homemade "Everything Cookies.")  

The first day I told him I'd packed his lunch in a bag, he jokingly asked, "Did you write my name on the front?... and with a big heart?... And did you write me a cute note for inside?"

I'd actually thought of doing those things -less the heart- but thought that might be too baby-ish for a freshman in the midst of a junior high lunch room.  But off I went, back to put things to right, realizing I should've ignored my fears and done what my own heart had told me to do.  I wrote a note on his napkin, his name on the front of the bag, and I even added the heart... I made it small, to avoid huge embarrassment, but just to tuck it there, so he would notice.

The next day, I decided I could do even better.  That's when I started writing a Bible verse, in addition to a quick, loving note, on the napkins for Hubby's and the kids' lunches.

So while doing one thing... Providing nutritious lunches for my family... I accomplish a few more of my goals.  

 - I express love and encouragement
 - I share Bible verses and my faith with them all
                and
 - I also help myself.  In researching verses to write every day, I am contemplating what they mean and have to say to me.  

Plus, by the time I write a verse 3 to 5 times in a morning, I have a chance to start memorizing the verse.

  

Maybe it's not the hour of devoted quiet time in the Word that most recommend, but it's much better than nothing, and I think God is happy with the change...

A New Appreciation for Early

I am a late bloomer... or a slow study.  My mom always extolled the value of early morning hours while we were growing up.  She did things like threw open the curtains, and chirped about lovely mornings being wasted away in bed...  I didn't buy it, and did my best to roll over and try to go back to sleep.  I was a night owl, and decidedly not a morning person.  Although, I believed, and still do, actually, that it wasn't a decision, but a genetic inheritance for night-owl-ism from my dad.

I just knew my mom, who had spent her life 'rising early to lay out my dad's clothes, cook his breakfast, and pack his and all of our lunches, would be, at the least, disappointed to know Hubby spent most of my stay-at-home-mom years arising early by himself, making his own breakfast, and grabbing whatever he could find to take for lunch.  When the older kids got to the point of taking a few classes at the high school, they did the same for themselves.  The younger, homeschooled kids and I got up and going later.   Pregnancies, and, more recently, perimenopause, made getting up early very difficult for me.  

I didn't realize how much I had been struggling until I started taking bio-identical hormone replacement, and got my sleep back, and with it, some ability to face mornings.

I haven't adjusted my nighttime routines well enough to get me a full night's sleep, but this year, I've been getting up to make sure all those leaving the house have breakfast, and a full lunch to take with them.  Often I think I'll fall back in bed after they leave.  But I never do.  Although tired, I'm pretty awake by that time, and I know it would probably make me feel worse, rather than better, to sleep more.  Plus, I no longer want to waste those mornings away in bed!


I admit that for several months, I mostly still wasted that time by sitting in a sleepy fog at the computer.  As soon as I sat down, it seemed to be over.  If there weren't any more emails to read, I'd find something to research or blogs to read.

Taste of Home Coconut Bread Recipe
The description said everyone would be begging
for the recipe, so how could I NOT make it?!
It certainly was a hit.  Since I didn't have
coconut extract, I used vanilla, and subbed
coconut oil for the vegetable oil.  I also used
unsweetened coconut.  

But last Tuesday, I got a new lease on mornings.  We were scheduled to host our church small group that night, and I wanted to bake for that.  We had bananas that were definitely ready to become banana bread.  As I searched out a recipe in our Taste of Home Baking Cookbook, my eyes landed on a recipe for Coconut Bread, so I made that, too.  As 3 loaves of banana bread, and 2 loaves of coconut baked away in the oven, I boiled a pot of eggs, and also cooked some chicken breast pieces to use in dinner, with enough for the next couple days of lunch salads and sandwiches.  I started laundry and studied our chapter for that night's discussion. By noon, I had a lot to show for my day, and was on a roll to accomplish more.  I was amazed at what starting early could mean.

Most days, I think that since I'm home all day, I have all day to get things done, so there's 'no hurry.'  But that rarely works.  I get busy, distracted... usually, both... and often things I'd intended move to the next day's to-do list.  I'm going to admit here that sometimes those things include basics, like taking a shower and getting dinner started!  Not that we don't eat dinner some nights, but I have often had to 'punt' at the last minute, instead of preparing what I'd planned, but didn't start early enough.

Yesterday, I got up out of this computer chair early, read my chapter for tonight, then with the rest of the morning dedicated to cutting, and the afternoon to sewing, I made a robe for my mom that I'd been

meaning to make for her birthday... In September.  It was supposed to be her cozy, winter robe...   I think it'll still be chilly enough here to make it useful for a couple of months, but I could've had it to her earlier, if I'd learned earlier to make use of my earlier hours in the day!

Many of you are probably shaking your head, having known this for years and years.  I confess, I've suffered the sins of selfishness, laziness, and indiscipline.  But I'm growing, and hope I'm coming out of it.  Over half my life is behind me, and I want to do as much as I can with what's left.  Today, I've cleaned our stove while my coffee brewed, and now I've written out this post.  Usually, I would commiserate, correct, and tailor, then play with photos until it was to a certain level of perfection I expect to present of myself to you.  

Today, though, I have another goal, so I'm done sitting here.  After I shift laundry, come up with a dinner plan, and probably start some bread, I want to see if I can get the wisp of an idea that's been floating in my head for an art-tile inspired quilt I might want to make for our living room wall to take form on paper... So I'm off to do so.  Have a great day!

Date by Default: Prince CuddleBunny's Time with Mom & Dad

Hubby often attends a conference every March that lasts 3 days.  Initially, there was a different venue every year, and it was fun to travel with him and see different cities in our state.  For a quite a while now, though, the organization has enjoyed a 'good deal' from the conference center in Wenatchee if they committed to a certain number of years, so it's become a tradition to visit there, and the kids look forward to it.  

It's been our opportunity to watch cable TV and swim in an indoor pool while Dad is off at meetings and classes.  Sometimes (not this year) he gets a couple of free hours, and we've all jaunted off to see more of the area, as I shared last year in Break Away.

As with many family outings, we've gotten to the place where fewer and fewer of our kids can come along, because of school, sports, and jobs.  This year the only one free to 'fit us in' was Prince CuddleBunny, so by default, he ended up with a 3-day parents-kid 'date.'  He was so excited, though, and counted the days for weeks until we'd leave... which was last Thursday.

At home, we have only whatever TV channels we can grab out of the air with our antenna, so any stay at a hotel has us all excited about other options.  Hubby likes Discovery, History, and news shows.  Some of the older kids liked Disney and Nickelodeon classic cartoons and shows... but, thankfully for me, Prince CuddleBunny loves HGTV's "HouseHunters," and the morning I slept in, he chose to watch "Flip this House!"  ;-)






As the only special guest, I let him set our schedule for Friday, and let him take whatever photos he'd like.  We got home with over 350 shots to upload from the camera!

He had no trouble deciding how we would start our day... A workout in the hotel fitness center and a swim in the pool.  Then he thought we could check out some of the stores in town "to see if they were like ours at home."

But the hotel wasn't cooperating... 

The fitness center didn't allow anyone under 18 to use the equipment, and the pool was closed while a gentleman was busy jack-hammering a hole in the floor.  







Prince CuddleBunny wondered if they might be making the pool bigger!  But no, fortunately, because I'm sure that would've taken longer, and whatever the man did meant the pool was open by evening.  So we had our swim after dinner instead.

More about our mini-vacation tomorrow, and definitely more of Prince CuddleBunny's photos!

Happy Birthday, Princess Bossy!

Our firstborn baby arrived 25 years ago today, to fill our lives with a love like we'd never imagined, plus fun, adventure, and amazing laughter.

photo source

Yesterday, her special and thoughtful Prince Helium surprised her with a day trip to Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art in Arkansas, which she's wanted to visit for a long time.  She promised to share pics, which I'm excited to see, as it looks like an interesting place. 

Crystal Bridges Art Trail

There are 120 acres of beautiful trails and grounds, and, started by Alice Walton, and still sponsored by Walmart, their permanent collection is free to view.  Princess B commented that it had a more relaxed, welcoming atmosphere than most museums, so was family friendly with nice access to the artwork... No protective cords and photos (without flash) are OK.  She said she saw lots of families with strollers.  Exposure to great art and the beautiful outdoors for kids at a young age... Wonderful!

But back to birthday...
I was so proud of myself this year, because I actually sent her gift so that it arrived before her special day, instead of after.  

THEN I noticed that the part of the gift I specially made her was still sitting on my sewing room table... 

Apparently I decided my Rotary Cutter should tell you that!

And NEXT she called while she opened her gift that I'd sent... I was so excited to send her a Thermapen Instant Read Thermometer, which is something I'd wished for for years, so got us both one at the same time.  "But Mom, I really can't think of what I'll use it for..."  Duh.  She doesn't eat meat!  Oh, well, maybe she'll get creative and find a use.  Prince Helium already pointed it out that it might be useful in his cheese making.  

Natural Theology: Comprising "Nature and Grace"
 by Professor Dr. Emil Brunner and
 the reply "No!" by Dr. Karl Barth
and
The End of Illusions: Religious Leaders
Confront Hitler's Gathering Storm

Thank goodness I added a couple of books and hit the mark with those... 
A subject she loves, and she hasn't read and doesn't own either one.  Phew!

Today we're states away and it seems so very far.  She's celebrating with wonderful people (one group for a special brunch and another this evening) who all, I'm thankful, have become loving and supportive family to her and her prince.  But I'm at home with my tears.  

Sorry to be dramatic, but I'm a sappy and sentimental mommy sometimes, and I really wish I could hold my girl in my arms right now.

I love you, Baby.  Happy, Happy Birthday!

Wanna-Be... A lot of things!

I might consider this sort of my daily "Bucket List" - Please forgive me repeating ones you've heard before:


I want to sew... quilts, baby clothes, clothes for myself, clothes and projects for others.

I want to crochet --I should say learn to crochet--and then make fantastic afghans for my children grandchildren to cuddle in, like my grandmas did.

I want to bake and keep the bread drawer, granola container, and cookie jar full.

I want to learn to make, then keep us supplied with, tortillas.

I want to cook full and delicious dinners, and serve family dinner at the table.

I want to do cook-ahead, freezer meals for busy days.

I want to get up early and make sure my family has nutritious breakfasts in the morning, and for those who leave, take nutritious lunches with them.

I want to read the Bible and related studies.

I want to read books about quilting, cooking, baking, sewing, art, and architecture.

I want to read entertaining books.

I want to learn to play the cello...like Yoyo Ma... in about a month.  haha

I want to be very fit and healthy.  Maybe even sculpted.  Definitely want to be sculpted.  I suppose this means actually moving...  (But Katie at Domestiphobia says, "It's the thought that counts!")

I want to ride my bike and be able to manage changes in terrain without so much effort.  I don't think thought alone will accomplish that one.

I want to be fully involved in homeschooling my children... Finding fun ways to learn and great projects to work on... Instilling a love for learning, and a love for doing things like math, writing, sewing, baking, building...  Going on adventurous, interesting, and fun field trips.

I want to garden.  I want my yard to look neat and beautiful, but mostly, I want to grow (and preserve) good, fresh food for our family.

I want to have people over for dinner, and the house (and 'larder') be ready for guests at all times.

I want to keep my home de-cluttered, dust-free, and comfortably beautiful and warm.

I want to keep better organized files and records of financial papers and other household business.

I want to integrate Bible verses into our home, following the admonition in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 "...These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

I want to help make or save our family a significant amount of money to improve our monthly finances.

I want to share our projects and a bit of our lives on this blog... Not only sharing ourselves and preserving memories for family and friends, but hopefully, feeding others in some positive way.

I want to start a kitchen design page on the blog for those who yearn for a functional and family-friendly layout, and may not be finding the help they need elsewhere or are having trouble organizing their wishes into a plan.

I want to feel more willing to reach out and get involved in church projects and programs.

I want to be the greatest wife my husband could ever dream of....Supportive, accomplished, cheerful, attractive, helpful, respectful, loving, builder-upper.

I want to spend more 'couple time' with Hubby.

I want to be the greatest, most helpful, encouraging, supportive, loving, and beloved mom to my children... and also confidante and friend as they grown and become adults.

I want to really know each of my children as individuals, and have a close relationship with each, encouraging and supporting their dreams and ambitions, as God leads.

I want to be able to sit and enjoy a movie or favorite TV show with my family.

Downloadable images suitable for making reminder wall hangings
from Live the Way you Want to be Remembered by Kristen Duke,
in which, among other good things worth reading, she says:
"...I want to live in such a way that they will remember our time fondly. I don’t want them to remember me always on the computer, but spending time with them or reading to them or taking them on adventures."
Yes!

I want to be the best grandma to my soon-to-arrive grandson and other future grandchildren... I want to be the kind of grandma who bakes, sews, reads, cuddles, and is cheerful, loving, and fun.

I want to meet with close friends.

I want to spend time with my parents.

I want to connect with the Lord all day every day, trusting and living in faith instead of fatigue and fear.  --Sitting in confidence of my salvation, walking in the path He has for me, and standing with Him in the face of whatever my days bring.  

I want the spirit of faith, thankfulness, praise, love, service, and family to be contagious in our house, and, with the Lord's help, I want to be a main 'carrier.'

And.... I since I want to feel energetic enough to get out of my chair and do these things... I want more sleep!

Parent-Kid Date: Princess Artiste

Because Hubby was stuck at school, awaiting a lumber delivery that never showed up (Grr), he missed a day with Princess Artiste and me in the Big City.  And what a beautiful day it was!

Princess Artiste has been commissioned by a teacher at school to create art tiles similar in style to a set he'd seen in the Patricia Rovzar Gallery, created by former architect, now artist, Vicki Grant.  (I encourage you to have a look at her stuff... It's amazing.  As a wanna-be architect and an appreciator of design elements, myself, her work has roots and a style I love.  Also, in wandering to galleries she linked, I came across the work of Destiny Allison at the Brunner Gallery, which I also loved.) 

from Patricia Rovzar Gallery

ANYway, Hubby and the princess were scheduled to accompany this man to the gallery to have a look at the tiles during Christmas break, but that never happened.  Eager to start the project, Princess Artiste asked me to take her to see them last week.

As it turned out, the exhibit at the gallery had long been changed, and the tiles were no where to be seen.  We enjoyed studying the works of Joseph Maruska and Deloss Webber, instead... Which were not tiles, nor ceramic, but beautiful, inspiring, and interesting.

The view up 1st Ave from Starbucks.
Image thanks to this post on StarbucksMelody.com

Not seeing the tiles did not spoil our day in the least.  We enjoyed Greek yeeros at Mr. D's at the Pike Place Market, and of course, I had to make a run through Sur la Table, to see fun kitchen wares.  We walked to Pioneer Square, where we people watched from Starbucks, enjoying some coffee/tea beverages, and then trekked back to the ferry terminal to head home.  

With an hour to spare, we decided to walk up the waterfront, north along Alaskan Way.  At that point, still having drinks in our hands, we couldn't explore any of the shops, so we just looked in windows and kept going... 

Until we were drawn toward the Big City's newest attraction, the "Great Wheel."  Frankly, it's not as large as I'd expected from the first hype they put out before construction, but it's still pretty cool.  Who could resist flying up over the city and waterway on a beautiful, clear day like we had?  Not us.  This is the first time I remembered the camera was in my pocket...

We got off the big ferris wheel with only 5 minutes to get to the ferry terminal (several blocks away), buy our tickets, and load onto the boat... so we chose to miss it and play for another hour.

We walked further down Alaskan Way than we ever had until we reached the Maritime and Convention Center, where we enjoyed more fabulous views.

Now drinkless, we were able to visit a couple of the shops that particularly intrigued the princess, and in search of a fun key chain, she found one that amused her, and decided we should have our little elephant twins.

This is mine.  Hers is with her at school.

This time we made the ferry, as intended, and rode home.