MCFH: Favorite Follow(s)

Today's prompt in the My Cozy Fall Home challenge, hosted by The Nester, is Favorite Follow.

It is tough for me to choose favorites... and impossible to choose one... because I value different blogs and different Instagrammers for different reasons.  Each one I follow adds a little (or a lot) of something unique to my life and my interests in faith, family, home, quilting, design, and just 'being me.'

That said, there is a base of people I almost depend on for sustenance.  Coincidentally, perhaps, they are also the people whose blogs, then Facebook and Instagram pages, I have followed the longest.



Not at all trying to kiss up to our hostess, but I believe The Nesting Place was the first blog I followed, so her Instagram follow was also one of my firsts, and is still one of my faves.  I loved her book, The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful, and am eagerly awaiting the arrival of Cozy Minimalist Home: More Style, Less Stuff, which I've preordered.  I enjoy her emphasis on working with the home you have to make it comfortable and inviting with no need to be picture-perfect.  These Instagram challenges she creates inspire me to try new things to improve the decor and overall atmosphere in our home.  Her Instagram page is here.  (The links to her books link to those pages on Amazon, just to be helpful, but you can purchase them from whatever bookstore you so choose. I receive no benefit from you clicking through or buying from Amazon.)

Through that blog, I was introduced to Myquillan's/The Nester's sister, Emily P. Freeman.  Emily has helped me learn about big things, like not being perfect, letting my soul breathe, and identifying and valuing the 'artist' part of me. I have enjoyed her books, online course (Create + Complete), and podcast (The Next Right Thing)... and I'm not really a podcast person.  But she's taught me to sit still and listen.  - Maybe not as often as I'd like, but it does happen.  She has also recommended books within her blog, Instagram page, and online courses that have become some of my favorites.  I often have so many questions about applying the concepts she talks about to my life... I'd like to go spend a week with her and have her be my life coach!

I am pretty certain that reading something Emily shared led me to Holley Gerth.  Holley's blog, emails, books, and Instagram posts have fed me deeply in the area of faith.  One particular post had a huge impact. In the face of worldly, societal, and, even, family pressure, I was feeling that my role as a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom/homemaker was not valued.  "Everyone else" had jobs that make money for their families, and I my contributions no longer seemed to mean as much to anyone.  Her post entitled, We Don’t Have to Be Productive Today changed my life... or got it back on the rails.  I had my husband read it, also. and we were able to discuss it and address the hurt I'd had, trying to live up to worldly standards and prove my worth at home by a list of daily accomplishments...and always falling short, felt a failure.  Holley confirmed how I'd always felt, and that doing what God has for me to do was still more important than how others thought I might 'better' use my time...even if it was those for whom I was doing things. They may not appreciate it now, or may never, but I know, and I know that the Lord knows, what I do is important.

I 'met' Katie of Domesitphobia through the Gardenweb Kitchen Forum, and started following her blog after that.  Except for being a member of the TKO (Totally Kitchen Obsessed), she was everything I'm not... a brave, irreverant, fiercely independent writer, traveler, foodie, photographer, who worked at various jobs, and also at remodeling and improving each home she shared with her much loved and handsome military husband, and who was happy with dogs instead of kids.  She has since changed her mind about becoming a mom, and I'm happy for her in experiencing that blessing via her beautiful daughter.  The 3 of them now live in Italy, because of another move for her husband, so her Instagram page is full of beautiful evidence of the their Italian experiences.  She's quite a bit younger than I am, but I want to be like her when I grow up!  But with more kids.

Telling Vignettes

I was sitting at the kitchen table, reading my devotional, Holley Gerth's What your Heart Needs for the Hard Days, a daily habit I started about 3 weeks ago.  I say 'daily habit'... I read one segment a day... and I've read about 7 so far, so you can see how the 'daily' thing is going!

Anyway, she was giving me new insight into the 23rd Psalm... how the green pastures aren't just clean, cool, and refreshing, as I'd imagined, but for sheep they're also sustenance/food. And since these life necessities are offered, we don't need to worry so much, and can rest in that promise. I was staring off, thinking about this new idea when I brought my gaze into focus, and saw this counter.  Not happily, I realized it was a vignette representative of my life right now...

First of all, it's messy, disorganized, and like many areas, rooms, and surfaces of our home, there are things there that don't belong.

Other things evidenced in this scene:

• We have medical and dietary issues going on in the family that often mean different meals for each person.  For this, I am sorely unprepared (I keep not thinking ahead and having to 'punt' at each meal time), as well as the whole individual meal situation being frustrating, inefficient, and expensive.

• Unpaid bills and pieces of mail with which I know not what to do taunt me.  I am in charge of mail, bills, and all things paperwork around here.  I've done it for 32+ years, but it's not my strong point, and it's all catching up with me.  The balls I used to juggle so well, to keep everything up-to-date and to know where everything is, even if not filed neatly, are all falling around me.

• A box from a charger symbolizes our (over)use of technology.

• Pet care items remind me one dog needs grooming and all our pets need shots.

• Food items and gadgets show the projects my family starts, but leaves me to clean up.

• The stack of books represent all those I mean to read but haven't, and the notebook is full of lists and project ideas yet to get past the 'write-it-down-before-I-forget' stage.

After stewing in frustration and overwhelm for a moment, uncharacteristically, I decided not to let that counter view define my day. I decided to unfocus from that, and, instead, "be present" for myself and my art today...To let my soul breathe...thank you, Emily P. Freeman! (You don't know Emily, her blog, or her books?  I highly recommend any.)

THIS is the type of vignette I'd prefer to represent my life...  

...A closeness to God and His Word, and letting my creative projects out of the notebook and into existence!

Today, I decided to take a Bible verse Prince Go-for-It and I had briefly discussed earlier, and make it into the wall canvas that had drawn itself in my mind.  







Unfortunately, my mind didn't create a background for it, so it is an example of my long-fought weakness in reaching design 'completeness' in my projects.  But I was pleasantly surprised that my rusty lettering skills still served me pretty well, and I'm attempting to be less 'neat' and less of a perfectionist, so this project certainly fits that bill!  

I enjoyed myself and it was relaxing.  A win for today.  --Not that it made the pile of bills disappear or the countertop properly organized.  Somehow, I want to simplify to be rid of that first vignette and live more often amongst the second. 

It doesn't seem like accepting a gift should be so difficult, but worry, busyness, and living in constant crisis distract us. Taking time to let my creative ideas come to life is a way of accepting the gift offered in Psalm 23... a version of 'lying down in green pastures and restoring my soul.'  

Finding my Way

I ordered myself 2 new books a month or so ago...I knew I 'shouldn't' because I had so many others waiting to be read. But I needed to understand more about my NEED to be creative and make art, and the voices in my head (mine and others from my life) getting in my way. I made myself a rule... Actually read the first one, Art & Fear, without stopping...that is to say, without getting distracted by starting to read anything else.

Art & Fear. For me, like taking a class for $7

I'm glad I ordered it and I'm glad I dove right in. I got a lot out of it. I loved reading it as much as if I was going to a really good class, so sticking with it took no particular discipline. 

Finding quiet time to read and absorb was the biggest challenge, but that's what alone-time in the car... with only the light from my phone during Prince CuddleBunny's baseball practice... is for!

Besides a lot of underlining and taking notes, in beginning to feel ok about my own ideas, I sketched right onto the pages! I have so many projects in mind, I hope I remember them all. I suppose only that ones that should will get lost in the shuffle and process.

I think I am finding MY voice... Or, actually, understanding that MY voice, expressed MY way, is all that's needed for MY art. It's not more or less than what anyone else can produce. I can't control how others will respond, so there is no value in worrying about it. As the author explained, all artists are different in what they have to offer and how they express it, but we're all the same in that we can only produce our true and best art, at least figuratively, alone in a room, and with who we are as individuals as the source. It's about accepting myself, which isn't a new concept in the self-help world, and, certainly, something I'd heard and read before, but maybe I am just starting to 'get it.' At approximately 56 and 11 months... Better late than never.

I felt sad to get to the end of the book. I've experienced that before, but this is a first, I think, for non-fiction! I went back through it to review my underlines and notes, to better imbed what I'd found important. 

Ha!  I just noticed that the title is printed
on the mailing label.  So much for my surprise!

I highly recommend this book for those with a yen, even a mostly hidden one, for being creative! Art can be a lot of things, and I think a lot of people have an artist in them, waiting to come out from behind all sorts of negative comments or perceptions, a view that such things shouldn't be an important priority among life's demands, or a lack of confidence. Artists aren't born great, and they're not more special than you are. They just get in and DO. --And practice, and fail, and do some more.

Now I get to open the envelope that has locked the 2nd book away from my view ever since it arrived...I don't even remember what it is! It'll be a surprise gift to myself.




This post includes Amazon affiliate links.

I'm Mooshy-Squooshy...and Loved

from Maybe What I Really Need is to be Loved,  Your Beloved

This blog post by Bonnie Gray, sent to my email inbox via (in)Courage, helped me relax enough to get back to sleep at 3 AM early yesterday morning. I had been lying awake, gnashing my teeth about a lot of things... Mostly aggravated that the issues were probably 'my fault' at the root... 

• I'm wimpy.
• I'm too soft and sentimental.
• As a pleaser, I don't say "no" enough, or pull hard enough when the kids need to be reined in.
• I let things and finances and the household tasks get out of control, and sometimes I let others reinforce the idea that it's my fault.

I call good decisions "theirs," and not-necessarily-good decisions "bad momming."

Maybe I'm not all the things I was telling myself, or actually, maybe I am, but that's the way God made me.  I am mooshy and squooshy, for good or (for what you think may be) bad. If I'm not tough enough, it just might be someone else's job to offer the kids that point of view, or there is something we're all supposed to learn or gain as things unfold. Mostly, the kids are doing pretty awesome, and I am here to allow them to be and develop into their own selves, too. 

I (don't often enough) realize that there are just some things maybe I shouldn't control (WHAT?!!), or take responsibility for.

--These rambling thoughts may give insight on why I don't get back to sleep once my mind starts to spin-- 

ANYway, I searched out the blog post again today to re-read and re-remind myself, and thought maybe someone else could use the message...

 GOD LOVES YOU THE WAY HE MADE YOU

Now please give yourself a break and rest in that, and I'll try to give it a shot, too.

Changing Something That IS Me

Yesterday, I talked about changing the look of my kitchen by removing the lace valance I didn't feel was 'me.' --And I posted updated pictures of the new look.  (I have yet to update my My Kitchen page, but I will.)

Today it's time to update another pic...and that pic is of me!  

Over 50% gray by the time Prince CuddleBunny came along

I got the first silver strand in my hair when I was 18.  I pulled those first ones out, and hoped they'd stay away.  They didn't.  I never really believed in dying hair, but I started with temporary 'rinses' and got to full, permanent coloring.  I couldn't afford to visit a salon every month, so I bought the boxes at the grocery or drug store, and did it myself, trying to keep it as close to my natural medium-dark color as possible.  This had varying results...Some good and some not so.

Yikes! Out in public with inches of grow-out

I fought the idea of having gray hair.  I had been used to appearing younger than my age, and I sure didn't look it whenever I let the gray creep back.

Short-short hair, always a favorite of mine anyway,
made it easier to keep colored without getting
the over-dyed look.

I didn't feel very good about myself whenever I caught my reflection if I had gray hair.  But it got to be SO MUCH WORK...and expense.  And pretty impossible to keep doing at home and have it look nice for more than a couple of weeks.  When gray roots came in, besides being unsightly, it looked like I was going bald.  That's not a better look than all gray!

Couldn't be gray for the weddings!

Besides, the Bible tells me gray is good.  

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." Proverbs 16:31

"The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old."  Proverbs 20:29

I gave up the hair dye within a year after the weddings.
I've given you a few glimpses of the change in the last few years.

If God says it's good, should I argue?  It was still hard to accept. 

Still fighting the older look, I've resorted to having my hair cut at a salon.. I've been trying to find the right style that will make the silver look like a fashion decision, rather than resignation.  ;-)  My own world of delusion.  

This one probably doesn't really
remember me with brown hair.

I think, though, about my grandma, who had white hair as far back as I remember.  I've seen photos of her with darker hair, and I never thought she was as pretty.  I thought she looked more severe, and not as loving and fun as I knew her to be.  

And this one has never seen me
any other way.  

I remember how soft she was to hug.  She wasn't overweight, but probably thought she had some extra pounds, and maybe she also resented the wrinkly skin that was also played a part in her softness.  Maybe she was in shock at her reflection as I have been in mine.  But I think maybe she was just too busy teasing, loving, and baking to be that self-absorbed!  I hope so, because she was the best, just as she was. 








So, here I go.  The old brunette photo on the blog...









will be replaced with a more recent shot.

Write31days.com

Yeah, What She Said...and He Said

A couple bits of wisdom I read recently that have spoken to me...  I thought you might enjoy them, too.

"When I say I am a perfectionist, what I am really doing is just giving my fear of failure a pretty label.  Perfectionist.  Instead of insecure.  Perfectionist.  Instead of fearful." 

Susan Stearns, in Crazy Tuesdays

"Youth is still where you left it, and that's where it should stay.  Anything worth taking on life's journey, you'll already have taken with you."

"Arthur," in Wedding Night: A Novel by Sophie Kinsella

Have You Met...

...William Wilberforce?

Maybe you saw the highly rated movie, Amazing Grace.  (If not, I highly recommend it.)  I know I'd heard of him before I saw it, but I didn't know anything about him.  I've learned even more from the chapter dedicated to him in 7 Men and the Secret of their Greatness.

He was, with the Lord's help (he'd be the first to give the glory to God), instrumental in the abolition of the slave trade, and then slavery in England, decades before the Civil War in the United States.  

He wasn't a Christian until he was an adult and already in Parliament.  He struggled with how to mesh his new and strong faith with his political life.  He gave up gambling and men's clubs to concentrate on God's plan for his life.  After much prayer and guidance sent by God, much of it through the amazing people he encountered in his life, he saw that he could best work for God by staying in politics. He zeroed in on 2 purposes for his life: To abolish the slave trade and reform the manners of society.

By manners, I don't mean which fork to use at dinner, but much greater issues. There were big divides in England's society of the time.  The "upper crust" of society thought the poor 'deserved' their station in life and to help them would be against what some now would refer to as 'karma.' Drinking and carousing were major sport, as were sexual exploits.  25% of women were forced into prostitution.  Extensive child labor was common. Anyone who truly believed in God and lived with any sort of faith, other than attending church on Sundays for social reasons, was looked upon as a fanatic.  

Wilberforce became a role model.  He eschewed immoral behavior, and unlike most men of his time, gave time to his family and actually played with his children.  He had a heart for anyone who was unfairly used or abused. In Parliament and other dealings in regard to his feelings about slavery, he was able to stay above the fray, respecting his opponents and understanding that the whole society, including himself, had been part of the problem.  He received grace from God, and gave it to those around him. This opened doors and helped him be heard, and resulted in great changes in England and the world.

This is just a quick recap. I have not done his life, nor the book's description of it, justice here.  

I want to remember what I learned from the life and example of William Wilberforce.  In fact, I want to know more about how he lived his faith on a daily basis, so plan to read the book, Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery.  (It was written while or after the movie was in production, but is a more comprehensive and accurate biography, not based on the movie.)

I think the way the life of Wilberforce has grabbed my attention, and the revelation I wrote about last week are related, each helping me better understand the other, and give me a new view of the purpose and/or direction of my life.

 - What I want to take away from his story is the ability to live for the Lord in every word and deed of my life, like he did.  --To do everything to the glory and honor of God. 

 - I want practice grace; to avoid judging those who don't agree with me, but show them love, with genuine regard and interest, and understand that they may not be convicted in the same areas.
                                                          
 - I want to remember that it's okay not to do EVERYthing, but to concentrate only on those things which God intended especially for me.  

As a "Jill-of-all-trades," knowing what I should choose is difficult in itself.  One thing I do know, though, is that I can let go of feeling guilty over things others may want me to do, that just aren't what I need to do right now.

A Revelation

The kids of some of our best friends have worked with Youth With A Mission (YWAM) for years.  Now they (with their young children) are in a foreign land, going to a university there to learn the language, while also teaching English.  They share the Lord in how they behave and serve others, and are allowed to answer questions about their lifestyle, including their Christian faith when relevant, in conversation with people they encounter... at school, at the park, or wherever. 


After we'd attended a presentation they did at church, sharing photos and telling about their typical days, I was thinking about their lives.  I thought, "How wonderful to just get up and go to school and move about the day,  enjoying encounters with people along the way, and know that in doing that, they're doing God's work."  Serving the Lord was built right into their entire life... without extra scheduling. It seemed like no work at all, and so freeing and fun.

But then it hit me.  I realized that's how we're all supposed to look at it.  No matter what we do, it's where God has us, and whatever we do in our lives is the "work" He has for us... even if it's play.  We only need to get up and embrace where we are and what we're already doing. 

I had been separating the little and everyday tasks of my life from what I would consider 'doing God's work.'  --As if I had to set aside time to do my part for God, instead of knowing my daily life IS the work He's provided me.  And I don't need to worry about it.  Just do... in contentment and joy, which is definitely helpful to my personal well-being and outlook.  It is freeing and it certainly can be fun.

This 'revelation' was quite awhile ago now, and I have to admit that although I understand and accept it, I don't really feel like I've absorbed it to the soul level so that I'm living it.  But I feel strangely content with that.  I think of it and 'chew on it' in my mind every now and then.  It's a step in the right direction, and probably just the one of the puzzle pieces, or little idea-sprouts that will grow and bring the concept to fulfillment in my life. 

.......................................................................................................................

Meanwhile... I've done it!  I've blogged 31 days in a row for the month of October!  I hope you've been able to read some of the other blogs who joined this challenge.  It's not too late to check them out. I know I will be going back to read through many posts shared by others that I've missed while writing, and trying to keep up with our life here at RHome410.

31 Days at The Nesting Place

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Wall Work

As I mentioned yesterday, we had a big stack of photos beside our bedroom chair.  Most were already framed, just waiting to hang.

I was having a Sad Sunday and needed a project to lift my spirits with this accomplishment.  I also needed to get those pictures on the wall and see an improvement in our room.

I wish I might've had some fancy secret to arranging photos to share, but I started with the wide rectangles and worked from there, trying for visual balance, adequate white space between frames, and good coverage on the wall.

It was the first time I've used a whole wall like that, and used such large scale pieces on a relatively small area.




The pictures themselves show the family members doing different things through the years. It's a fun trip down memory lane to have them up.

Prince Inventive made me this years ago.
It needs photos and glass, but it deserved to be up.
I think now that it's out of hiding, we'll be much more
likely to get it properly filled and finished.

Princess Bossy's little hand.. Age 5

31 Days at The Nesting Place

Monday Movie Madness

Back to my healthy breakfast:
plain Greek yogurt, almonds,
& a squirt of Blue Agave nectar

I have noticed symptoms that warn me I am 'running on empty.' - Interrupted sleep pattern, nervousness, cold all the time, feeling overwhelmed and an inability to cope.

The answers to that are always adequate rest, healthy diet, exercise... blah, blah, blah.



But another stress reliever/relaxation remedy is fun and, of course, laughter.  They don't say it's the best medicine for nothin'.

Sometimes it's OK to just take the afternoon off and watch a fun movie, like we did last Monday.  

We had a DVD left over from our weekend RedBox rental, and didn't want it to go to waste!  Besides, it's about getting into college... so educational for homeschoolers, right?  ;-)

We watched Admission.  

Admission with Tina Fey & Paul Rudd,
 plus Lily Tomlin

From the advertisements, we expected a light-hearted and silly, romantic comedy.  I think that's, perhaps, why it has mixed and, mostly, 3-star reviews on Amazon from those who expected more laughs.There were funny parts, but the characters had deeper issues and past baggage with which they struggled.  These challenges included issues revolving around parent-child relationships, life dreams, career choices, and aging, and were given due respect in the movie, I think.

It was still fun, and definitely entertaining.  I really enjoyed this movie.  A nice break from our usual routine. 


Speaking of movies, though...  Based on this weekend's experience, if you find yourself standing in front of RedBox on a Saturday night and many of the movies have been rented, like we did, and the only one that looks at all interesting is "The Host,"turn around, drive home, and play cards, read, or opt to go to bed early, like we didn't.  

The original book was written by Stephanie Meyer, the woman who wrote the Twilight series, which my kids love, and, admittedly, I am not fond, but did get sucked in when the movies were playing in our house.  The same people produced this movie.  I think it was supposed to be Sci-Fi Romance?  We all, kids included, agreed that it was not the best use of our time..  Tiresome, "hokie," and ridiculous, and I have nothing good to say about it.  Oh, wait... Prince Inventive liked the Justin-Bieberish, shiny, chrome sports cars the aliens drove.  :D

31 Days at The Nesting Place

For Fun or Coif It

Whether you want to try on a new look, like I thought I could use, or just have some fun, the makeover tool Princess Sassy showed me on InStyle.com might help you out.

You download (upload?  I never know the difference) a photo of yourself, and try on the hair styles of different celebrities.  --Choose "Upload your own photo," then click on where it says "Browse" in the lefthand column in order to choose a photo you've saved on your computer.  

A straight-on view with your hair tied back or, at least, well out of the way, is the best.  I chose an old one that sort of fit the bill that I'd taken a couple of years ago.

When the photo is on the screen, keep hitting "next" and follow the directions.  The tool calculates the angle of your face by taking measurements and clues from dots they ask you to locate in certain spots.  

This is good, but also means the hair styles come out a little odd and need to be adjusted to fit your head.  But this is pretty easy using the adjustments under the picture, or by dragging the green dots shown on the screen when you have the cursor over the picture.

To get see the hairstyles you want to try, you choose between sorting through celebrities, or sorting through styles, by choosing features like length, hair type, etc.








When you click on a celebrity's face, the hair will

Keira Knightly's hair on me before
adjusting to my head and playing with color

appear on your photo.  This is when you want to adjust it to your face.  You can also change the color.  The worst part about this tool is that the colors don't come out true to any real hair color I've ever seen.  They're mostly too bright and too orange, but this is still helpful...or fun.. whichever you'd like it to be.

And Keira Knightley's hair... After

Jenna Elfman's style, color adjusted to brown.  They don't
offer gray as an option so that I can see something more like reality.

Me in Julianne Moore's hair.  You can
see why I keep my hair short!

31 Days at The Nesting Place