Thursday, July 19, 2012

So Saaaaad....

During my 'simple' book reduction, I faced some realizations...

I still have some great books and resources yet to be used for homeschooling.  With them are great plans and dreams I've held for a certain vision of our homeschooling and family life.  Idyllic pictures in my mind of the kids and I gathered to enjoy a great biography or try a new project.  Character, faith, and family strengthening times that will help us all grow into people above the fray of gossip, laziness, and selfishness... You know... Something like perfect.

So, just maybe some of those visions were a bit beyond reality.  First of all, we weren't always sitting together for whatever studying was going on, because I allowed the kids to be comfortable and read or write where they liked, and could concentrate.  But what made me sad was that those visions involved the whole family... 
a young, all-at-home family that I don't have any more.

The current reality is that Prince Go-for-It is begging to begin 9th grade at the public junior high, full-time.  
This has prompted Princess Eager to request that she be allowed to attend, also, but part-time.  If we allow that, it will be only Prince CuddleBunny left home for full-time homeschooling.  It's difficult for me to have the kids want to get away from homeschooling.  But I guess that's normal, as 'the grass is always greener...'  

It was just easier to say "No," and for the others to accept it, when there were many classmates at home to make sure there was never a dull moment, and always lots of group and individual projects underway to prompt learning.  It's getting a little quiet during the days here now, and I get to wondering if I'm doing them any disservice by keeping them home when they want to fly. 

I know from experience, that part-time school means less-than-proportional, part-time homeschooling.  For instance, 30% time in school, doesn't mean they actually accomplish the other 70% they should at home.  There is the school schedule changes, the travel time, the new, related activities.  It just doesn't happen the way it seems it should.  This makes me less amenable to Princess Eager's wish to start that 'ride.'  I feel I have more to offer her, and hope she'll be OK with accepting it.  I hope she'll grant me one or two more years, in which we can both really give ourselves to homeschooling in a way we haven't in the past couple of years.  I realize I haven't really adjusted our schooling for the change in our daily household population... So it's time to do that, and have some fun!

Passed time.  That's what was really killing me.  IT GOES SO FAST!  

You may have read such lamenting here on my blog before.  I admit to being a surprisingly slow study in this top-priority area of my life.  ;-)  Every new lesson (hit over my head) helps.  Maybe I'm just trying to find a way to slow time and grasp onto fleeting childhoods, and maybe there's no way to avoid all regrets.  

I have a renewed intention toward my focus on learning in our household, and utilizing the wonderful, but neglected resources getting dusty on shelves.  I have ideas about how push this priority back up in our lives... The first of which to be shared next week.

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